Lies I Tell Myself

 I lie. Some days more than others, but I lie. I do not like it. I am not proud of it, but I must admit it: I lie. I lie daily, from early morning ‘til I pillow my head at night. I do not intend to. I do not want to, but I do. My lying is intermittent, unpredictable, and unmanageable. 

I am speaking of the lies I tell myself. Let me share a few of my standard lies along with a brief commentary. 

I am too old When faced with anything new – software, technology, programs, certifications, or investment opportunities – I can play the “I’m too old to learn” card. It is clearly an ungrounded assessment, since I live and compete in a world and business where “new” software, technology, programs, and certifications are normal. 

I am too fat. I carry that with me when I walk into a room full of strangers. Though I am not medically obese, I am overweight, so I tell myself that clients will not want to work with me because I am too fat. Yet, my portfolio of clients contradicts my story. 

I am lazy. Though I work as a solo contractor in a team, I choose when I go to the office and when I leave. Still, I like to be at my desk by 7 a.m. and leave by 6 or 6:30 p.m. There are days I’d like to go in late or knock off a little early, but a faint inner voice whispers, “You’re lazy if you don’t put in at least ten hours a day. 

I will never get it. I was 52 years old when I transitioned abruptly to financial services. A few months in, I told my mentor that I would never get all the nuances of the business to be an exceptional advisor. I still tell myself the lie and just substitute examples of what I will never get. (By the way, I “got” most of what I feared I never would “get.”) 

I am not worthy. I have never been comfortable with accolades, awards, or affirmations, yet I have received all three on multiple occasions. In nearly every case, I offer some iteration of, “If you really knew me, you wouldn’t say what you said, or grant me the award that you did.” My protests invalidate the person who found worth in something I said or did. 

I have learned not only to name the lies for what they are; I have focused on the renewal and transformation my mind. I ritualistically combat lies with truth, with a spirit of gratitude in a God-honoring way. 

So, I want to tell you the truth: I lie, but when I am not tired, lonely, or hungry, I do not listen to such lies—and neither should you. 

Randall E. Davey, CAP® is a financial advisor with Guide Advisors, Inc. In certain circumstances, he may offer insurance as a sole proprietor or through Guide Advisors, Inc. Randall can be reached at randall.davey@guideadvisors.com or by phone at 206-486-2477. 

Advisory services are offered through Guide Advisors, Inc., a Registered Investment Advisor in Washington, and other jurisdictions in which it may conduct business. The information contained herein should in no way be construed or interpreted as a solicitation to sell or offer to sell advisory services to any residents of any State other than the states listed above or where otherwise legally permitted. All written content is for information purposes only. It is not intended to provide any tax or legal advice or provide the basis for any financial decisions. The information contained in this material has been derived from sources believed to be reliable but is not guaranteed as to accuracy and completeness and does not purport to be a complete analysis of the materials discussed. 

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